"what did the zero say to the eight?" "that belt looks good on you."

"my dad told me a joke about boxing. i guess i missed the punch line."

"did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? he won the 'no-bell' prize."

"what did one hat say to the other?" "stay here! i'm going on ahead."

"can february march? no, but april may!"

"have you ever tried to catch a fog? i tried yesterday but i mist."

"did you know corduroy pillows are in style? they're making headlines."

"how do you make a tissue dance? you put a little boogie in it."

"how does a taco say grace?" "lettuce pray."

"what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? sneakers!"

"i have a joke about chemistry, but i don't think it will get a reaction."

"what did the coffee report to the police? a mugging."

"what do you call someone with no body and no nose? nobody knows."

"what does garlic do when it gets hot?" "it takes its cloves off."

"what do a tick and the eiffel tower have in common?" "they're both paris sites."

"i got carded at a liquor store, and my blockbuster card accidentally fell out. the cashier said never mind."

"what concert costs just 45 cents? 50 cent featuring nickelback!"

"what has more letters than the alphabet?" "the post office!"

"what did one wall say to the other?" "i'll meet you at the corner."

"that car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted."

"why do bees have sticky hair? because they use a honeycomb."

"what happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?" "traffic jam."

"why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? it was two tired."

"how do lawyers say goodbye? we'll be suing ya!"

"how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?" "by its bark."

"i don't trust those trees. they seem kind of shady."

"i once had a dream i was floating in an ocean of orange soda. it was more of a fanta sea."

"how does the moon cut his hair?" "eclipse it."

"why can't a nose be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot."

"i don't play soccer because i enjoy the sport. i'm just doing it for kicks!"

"where do you learn to make a banana split?" "sundae school."

"what does a sprinter eat before a race?" "nothing, they fast!"

"how do you get a good price on a sled?" "you have toboggan."

"if april showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?" "pilgrims."

"what do you call a pony with a sore throat?" "a little hoarse."

"what do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "a satisfactory."

"what kind of car does an egg drive?" "a yolkswagen."

"a skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'hey, bartender. i'll have one beer and a mop.'"

"if a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"you think swimming with sharks is expensive? swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."

"if you see a crime happen at the apple store, what does it make you?" "an iwitness."

"i once got fired from a canned juice company. apparently i couldn't concentrate."

"why did billy get fired from the banana factory? he kept throwing away the bent ones."

"what time did the man go to the dentist? tooth hurt-y."

"how do you make a kleenex dance? put a little boogie in it!"

"how did harry potter get down the hill?" "walking. jk! rowling."

"how do you get a squirrel to like you? act like a nut."

"where do fruits go on vacation?" "pear-is!"

"did you hear the rumor about butter? well, i'm not going to spread it!"

"i could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."

"dad, can you put my shoes on?" "no, i don't think they'll fit me."

"what did the fish say when he hit the wall? dam."

"i made a pencil with two erasers. it was pointless."

"is this pool safe for diving? it deep ends."

"dad, did you get a haircut?" "no, i got them all cut!"

"why did the math book look so sad? because of all of its problems!"

"a guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."

"what does a bee use to brush its hair?" "a honeycomb!"

"what do you call cheese that isn't yours? nacho cheese."

"shout out to my fingers. i can count on all of them."

"what does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "yellow!"

"where do young trees go to learn?" "elementree school."

"i'm reading a book about anti-gravity. it's impossible to put down!"

"what's the best thing about switzerland?" "i don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

"i ordered a chicken and an egg from amazon. i'll let you know..."

"when does a joke become a dad joke? when it becomes apparent."

"this graveyard looks overcrowded. people must be dying to get in."

"how does a penguin build its house? igloos it together."

"why don't eggs tell jokes? they'd crack each other up."

"when two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?"

"i don't trust stairs. they're always up to something."

"don't trust atoms. they make up everything!"

"what do clouds wear?" "thunderwear."

"why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field."

"i used to play piano by ear. now i use my hands."

"what do you call a hot dog on wheels?" "fast food!"

"what do you call a belt made of watches?" "a waist of time."

"my wife is really mad at the fact that i have no sense of direction. so i packed up my stuff and right!"

"do you wanna box for your leftovers?" "no, but i'll wrestle you for them."

"what do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "sofishticated."

"what country's capital is growing the fastest?" "ireland. every day it's dublin."

"i asked my dog what's two minus two. he said nothing."

"whenever i try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers."

"wanna hear a joke about paper? never mind—it's tearable."

"how much does it cost santa to park his sleigh?" "nothing, it's on the house."

"how do you make 7 even?" "take away the s."

"how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten tickles."

"what did baby corn say to mama corn?" "where's pop corn?"

"what did the ocean say to the beach?" "nothing, it just waved."

"what do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?" "a meltdown."

"what do you call a fake noodle? an impasta."

"spring is here! i got so excited i wet my plants."

"my partner said i should do lunges to stay in shape. that would be a big step forward."

"i used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me."

"why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."

"why are elevator jokes so classic and good? they work on many levels."

"what's a robot's favorite snack?" "computer chips."

"i wouldn't buy anything with velcro. it's a total rip-off."

"did you hear about the kidnapping at school? it's okay, he woke up."

"where do math teachers go on vacation?" "times square."

"what do you call two monkeys that share an amazon account?" "prime mates."

"have you heard about the chocolate record player? it sounds pretty sweet."

"what did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "supplies!"

"what’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? the space bar."

"what do you call a poor santa claus?" "st. nickel-less."

"what do you call a fake noodle?" "an impasta."

"why is peter pan always flying?" "he neverlands."

"it's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. it's a faux pa."

"a cheeseburger walks into a bar. the bartender says, 'sorry, we don't serve food here.'"

"how do you follow will smith in the snow?" "you follow the fresh prints."

"why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "it didn't have the guts."

"i thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

"i used to be addicted to soap, but i'm clean now."

"which state has the most streets? rhode island."

"did you hear about the circus fire? it was in tents."

"why are piggy banks so wise?" "they're filled with common cents."

"mountains aren't just funny. they're hill areas."

"dear math, grow up and solve your own problems."

"why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "in case they get a hole in one!"

"i'm afraid for the calendar. it's days are numbered."

"i only know 25 letters of the alphabet. i don't know y."

"i'm on a seafood diet. i see food and i eat it."

"dad, can you put the cat out?" "i didn't know it was on fire."

"what's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? live stream."

"singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. then it's a soap opera."

"where do boats go when they're sick?" "to the boat doc."

"where does an eskimo keep his bitcoin? in a cold wallet."

"what happens to a fruit when it passes away? it rests in peach."

"what is the national dish of crypto? spagethi."

"i had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it. now i have a bit-coin."

"son: hey dad! i decided to take your advice and invest in cardano. dad: ada boy!"

purple

tobacco

sky blurple

lawn green

lime green

steel

pool day blue

toolbox yellow

coral

woodgrain

stonks

everything is fine

cryptodads signature

metaverse

space

diamond bliss

spooky night

alien abduction

golden swirl

og peach

swimming goggles

reading glasses

hippie glasses

poker

harry plotter

3d glasses

monocle

fast glasses

night vision

vr

blonde soulpatch

grey soulpatch

brown goatee

blonde gentleman stache

grey goatee

long brown beard

grey gentleman stache

long blonde beard

long black beard

five o'clock shadow

black soulpatch

brown soulpatch

black gentleman stache

brown gentleman stache

scruff

red gentleman stache

long red beard

black goatee

long grey beard

red soulpatch

red goatee

blonde goatee

rainbow beard

golden beard

normal

ape tears

rolled eyes

arghh!

blanked

trippin'

disoriented

eastern

cave vision

blue

conflict maxi

bag holder

yellow cat eyes

confirmed bot

demon cat eyes

woke af

laser

stoned

ghost

cyborg

alien

bitcoin maxi

vvs diamonds

og eyes

hypnotized

wink

dad glare

red & long centerpart

black & long centerpart

blonde sweeped

grey & curly long

blonde & curly long

red half braided

black sweeped

grey receding

brown half braided

blonde half braided

black & curly long

brown & long centerpart

black receding

red & curly long

grey sweeped

red sweeped

brown fade

brown braids

brown sweeped

blonde ponytail

brown receding

blonde mohawk

black ponytail

brown manbun

grey half braided

brown ponytail

black fade

black braids

black mohawk

red bed head

red curly

black half braided

blonde braids

grey bed head

brown bed head

brown curly

blonde fade

red fade

red mohawk

brown mohawk

grey fade

grey manbun

grey curly

grey & long centerpart

red braids

grey mohawk

brown & curly long

blonde bed head

grey braids

red manbun

red receding

blonde curly

red ponytail

blonde receding

blonde & long centerpart

blonde bowl cut

blonde manbun

grey bowl cut

black curly

grey ponytail

black manbun

red mullet

red bowl cut

brown bowl cut

black mullet

black bowl cut

blonde mullet

brown mullet

grey mullet

red devil horns

grey devil horns

black devil horns

brown devil horns

blonde devil horns

purple long hair

flat top

gym hair

wow

red bearded buck

braces

sad dad

black bearded buck

underbite

grey bearded buck

brown bearded boss man

grey bearded boss man

black bearded farmer

drooling

vampire

grey bearded farmer

gapped

chip skylark

smurkio

golden tooth pick

brown bearded farmer

blonde bearded buck

black bearded boss man

red bearded farmer

tobacco pipe

blonde bearded boss man

cigarette

blonde bearded farmer

brown bearded buck

buck

red bearded boss man

farmer

cigar

robot

slime

gold grill

rainbow grillz

diamond grin

brainwashed

og grin

stitched

shiny smile

dark elf ear

mask

medium elf ear

sunburnt elf ear

light elf ear

big stepper

bluetooth

doge carrier

dadx spacesuit

light bag holder

light & football

medium bag holder

light hunter

light & rusty burger flipper

medium & on the rocks

dark & beer

dark bag holder

medium & football

light & milk

medium & sammich

dark & football

light handyman

light ninja

dark & on the rocks

tatted bag holder

light & sammich

dark ninja

light heavy-hitter

light & beer

tatted & sammich

medium & rusty burger flipper

light & on the rocks

medium hunter

sunburnt bag holder

light & ready to rock n' roll

sunburnt hunter

dark fishing day

dark hunter

sunburnt & beer

medium & ready to rock n' roll

sunburnt & rusty burger flipper

dark & sammich

sunburnt ninja

sunburnt & football

sunburnt fishing day

light fishing day

dark & ready to rock n' roll

medium fishing day

tatted & football

sunburnt & on the rocks

sunburnt & milk

medium harmonica

medium heavy-hitter

dark harmonica

sunburnt & ready to rock n' roll

medium & milk

sunburnt & sammich

dark handyman

medium ninja

dark & rusty burger flipper

light harmonica

dark & milk

medium & beer

medium handyman

sunburnt heavy-hitter

dark heavy-hitter

sunburnt & harmonicas

sunburnt handyman

light & golden spatula

medium & golden spatula

dark & dadsaber

golden ninja

light & dadsaber

sunburnt & golden spatula

dark & golden spatula